Hey Asextoys, this entire polyamory issue makes me nervous since I’m paranoid about acquiring an STD. Doesn’t getting poly improve your danger of STDs? I’d think poly people today practice secure sex, but does not that get in the way of intimacy?
1) There's no such factor as “safe sex”. Not even masturbation is protected sex, considering the fact that it is possible to give yourself anything when you do not preserve your toys clean. So, when we take precautions, it's safer-sex, but its still not 100% safe.
2) Practicing safer-sex is very, essential. But in poly-sexual circumstances it's crucial. That is the 300# gorilla inside the room that no one wants to talk about because it might appear paranoid, untrusting, crude, or melodramatic. As a proponent of polyamory, I'm also an advocate of safer-sex practices, for the reason that the final issue I wish to do is transmit anything to someone I love.
3) A lot of people believe that practicing safer-sex means working with a condom for the duration of intercourse. This really is naive, pretty much criminally so. If you're utilizing condoms once you fuck but not any time you suck him, or do not use gloves and also a barrier after you are providing her oral, then you are not practicing safer sex, you might be playing at it. (Read more about the best way to have Safer Sex at About.com)
four) Polyamory is Polynomial. Within the not as well distant past, I had three partners. 3. Now lets do the math. If I've three partners, and every single of them has a single other partner, and each of their one-others has one-other, how several body-fluids are possibly becoming inter-exchanged? 10. That is a lot of semen and vaginal secretions, saliva and mucous membranes, and if I hadn’t been scrupulous about screening my sex/play partners, then I put myself and absolutely everyone I was with, and everybody they were with, at risk.
five) Absolutely everyone who is sexually active in non-exclusive relationships really should have frequent screenings for STIs (sexually transmitted infections). You could possibly trust your companion(s), but do you trust your partner’s partners? Is your inner circle sexually responsible enough for fluid-bonding (Do not know what fluid bonding is, read this clear explanation at SmartSexTalk.com)? There are various stories of fluid-bonded couples who have had to go back to using barriers for the reason that certainly one of them had poorly-protected sex or took on a secondary partner who couldn’t present proof of recent screenings plus the other partner(s) felt it was prudent to practice safer-sex through the six month testing interim.
six) The significance of confidentiality and/or anonymity for screening. Take into account regardless of whether or not to use your insurer / key physician for screenings. I know we're inside the middle of a well being care crisis and reform, and Insurers are Huge Brother in all this. The possess the pot of gold, they need to retain it to themselves, and they use your healthcare records to discriminate against you. If they realize that you will be on a regular basis tested for STIs, they may think about that an indicator of “risky behavior” (instead of health upkeep) and drop you or raise your rates. You will find businesses on the market like getSTDtested.com, together with various nearby clinics, that offer testing at a range of prices with out compromising your healthcare history.
Just several anecdotes:
It isn't uncommon for poly-couples to possess a contract for themselves and their secondary partners - contracts which are reviewed and signed before intimacy, not after. Such contracts often need that all partners be tested semi-annually, disclose any and all exposures, and to make use of barriers through sex for at least six months prior to thinking about moving to a “fluid-bonded” status. I’ve been presented with and signed more than a few of these over the years and I’ve normally identified them to be an affirmation of my judgment in my partners.
STIs can show up in surprising areas:
I have some close friends in a monogamous connection that were “serial-monogamy sluts” prior to they got married. They didn’t recognize they had genital herpes until he had a flare-up - in his eye. He's certainly one of those pussy-eaters who really likes to rub his face in it, soaking himself from his hairline to his chin. They aren’t sure who gave it to whom, and though they’ve tried to notify past partners, for them, its also late. They’ve got it for life, and he gets to worry about going blind if he doesn’t hold it below control.
I have a different friend who discovered that a wart on her husband’s finger have been transmitted to her vaginal and anal openings. The remedy was embarrassing, very unpleasant, and so painful she screamed just about every time she went pee for a week.
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